You Cannot Fix Your Mind With Your Mind

The first time I heard this I was taken aback. I was also pretty skeptical. I had relied on my mind my entire life and with pretty good results, at least for a while.

But then like so many other things, what had once served me well stopped producing the same results. It wasn’t that my mind wasn’t up to snuff, it was just that when it came to the challenges I faced as an adult, my mind had taken me as far as it could. At a certain point, the actions I was taking stopped moving the dial in any substantial way because they were all emanating from the same old belief system. I was stuck in a loop, but I couldn’t see that.

Unless we’re doing deep inner work, most of us don’t realize that we’re running our lives on the same operating system that was installed when we were children. And we can spend years in talk therapy and read all the self-help books and still be stuck in the same old programming. Because what no one tells us (or at least no one told me) is that CHANGE ISN’T INTELLECTUAL, IT’S EXPERIENTIAL. That’s why modalities like parts work,12-step programs, and meditation are so effective; they require actions, engender new beliefs, and transform us at our core. They don’t just change how we behave in the world, they change how we view and experience the world.  

So, if you can’t “fix” your mind with your mind, how do you best approach the challenges and patterns that continuously show up in your life? The modalities above are certainly helpful, but if you’re not ready to dive in just yet, here’s another suggestion. Demote your mind and start paying attention to your body. Take a few moments throughout the day, plant your feet on the ground, and do a body scan. Tune in to what you are FEELING. Be careful not to confuse your thoughts with your feelings. A thought is often a story you tell yourself about a feeling. A feeling is a raw sensation, like a pressure in your stomach, or a heaviness on your heart. Connect with those feelings, and get curious about them. Remember that the body is always keeping score and has so much to tell us if we only we would stop and listen.

The above is a tiny intro into parts work, which can help you heal trauma wounds, grow more confident in yourself, and generate new, creative solutions to the problems you’re facing. If you would like to learn more, please reach out and schedule a free consultation. I’d love to hear from you!